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I’ve been bullied much of my adult life,

But that was my fault.

I never found the self,

in need of attention.

I never found the self,

requiring lamentation.

I may have never found my true self.

In all the years of ‘not being bothered’,

it had me.

It held me.

I was my own captive.

I could always do better.

I could always perform greater.

I would struggle to earn your appreciation,

only to lose my self.

I was strong,

but ultimately weak.

I was great,

but ultimately worth less.

I was really … a mess.

BUT,

I am tired of behaving like this!

I deserve more,

better,

real,

deep,

soulful,

trusting,

relationships,

based on me,

and my feelings,

and my beliefs,

and my desires.

I AM WORTHY of LOVE!

I was willing to walk away from you,

and that was the hardest choice of all.

But, I chose me.

I chose me for self love,

for self worth,

for self preservation.

I love my self so much more than I did a year ago.

And in loving me,

I can now love you.

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